There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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