it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
