she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
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I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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