If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
