Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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