We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize