he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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