Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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