did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
