im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This baby is an asshole
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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