Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
