I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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