i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
