dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
