We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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