i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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