when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's on the porch naked. Help.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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