so that wasnt chicken after all
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
