yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
