Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
