Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
