I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
