Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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