Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
