I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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