i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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