I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
