Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
