Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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