Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?

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  (713): So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue? http://tfl.nu/mqzj
  Replies (10) Good night (1478) Bad night (551)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?

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  (603): So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'? http://tfl.nu/2o2u
  Replies (26) Good night (899) Bad night (3716)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal

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  (267): i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal http://tfl.nu/wd7r
  Replies (18) Good night (1351) Bad night (4012)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero

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  (970): The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero http://tfl.nu/ssyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5483) Bad night (622)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.

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  (757): I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day. http://tfl.nu/wt3s
  Replies (22) Good night (5758) Bad night (936)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"

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  (843): My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF" http://tfl.nu/1req
  Replies (16) Good night (2466) Bad night (628)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?

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  (403): In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong? http://tfl.nu/dmf6
  Replies (7) Good night (1584) Bad night (654)
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  (516): View more from New York

  If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

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  (516): If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles http://tfl.nu/okmw
  Replies (4) Good night (1544) Bad night (1099)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.

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  (561): The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year. http://tfl.nu/xsav
  Replies (2) Good night (1415) Bad night (465)
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  (213): View more from California

  And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at

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  (213): And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at http://tfl.nu/rkdn
  Replies (5) Good night (1737) Bad night (513)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.

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  (503): Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home. http://tfl.nu/577r
  Replies (2) Good night (426) Bad night (759)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected

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  (902): It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected http://tfl.nu/ecct
  Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (327)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...

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  (775): You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper... http://tfl.nu/b471
  Replies (5) Good night (386) Bad night (1085)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.

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  (201): I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man. http://tfl.nu/58ag
  Replies (7) Good night (291) Bad night (875)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.

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  (306): fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not. http://tfl.nu/h1nv
  Replies (5) Good night (927) Bad night (237)

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