Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day

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  (703): i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day http://tfl.nu/h495
  Replies (29) Good night (6638) Bad night (715)
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  (949): View more from California

  I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.

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  (949): I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar. http://tfl.nu/limh
  Replies (8) Good night (4720) Bad night (817)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.

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  (765): he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law. http://tfl.nu/4onk
  Replies (13) Good night (6093) Bad night (1058)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  You would...

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  (204): So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone. (1-204): You would... http://tfl.nu/ljy4
  Replies (14) Good night (1178) Bad night (3544)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

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  (780): I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/nb18
  Replies (8) Good night (3556) Bad night (973)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.

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  (817): If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun. http://tfl.nu/31s3
  Replies (8) Good night (1444) Bad night (1578)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.

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  (706): He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories. http://tfl.nu/ce15
  Replies (15) Good night (2168) Bad night (597)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  That would warm my breasts.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.

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  (770): That would warm my breasts. (770): In this context breast is a metaphor for soul. http://tfl.nu/yhcf
  Replies (8) Good night (1194) Bad night (497)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...

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  (303): I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone... http://tfl.nu/cdei
  Replies (3) Good night (1543) Bad night (494)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.

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  (775): I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen. http://tfl.nu/oi7l
  Replies (1) Good night (994) Bad night (460)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats Poetry

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  (610): Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is. (919): Thats Poetry http://tfl.nu/gxmw
  Replies (7) Good night (900) Bad night (414)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.

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  (724): Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall. http://tfl.nu/yi3c
  Replies (3) Good night (829) Bad night (413)
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  (212): View more from New York

  No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.

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  (212): No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home. http://tfl.nu/seek
  Replies (7) Good night (2137) Bad night (365)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.

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  (913): I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it. http://tfl.nu/jhg3
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (195)
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  (516): View more from New York

  it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism

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  (516): it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism http://tfl.nu/zkif
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (164)

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