Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience

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(908): I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience http://tfl.nu/4oik

Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (1263)
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(206): View more from Washington

She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.

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(206): She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe. http://tfl.nu/i5qc

Replies (8) Good night (741) Bad night (2022)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

dollar beers will do that to you.

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(630): I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning. (1-630): dollar beers will do that to you. http://tfl.nu/e57v

Replies (26) Good night (2745) Bad night (699)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.

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(201): My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms. http://tfl.nu/tth4

Replies (6) Good night (824) Bad night (2841)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke

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(401): In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke http://tfl.nu/8xdu

Replies (11) Good night (998) Bad night (4110)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.

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(720): You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer. http://tfl.nu/ndy8

Replies (17) Good night (4760) Bad night (1178)
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(631): View more from New York

the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'

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(631): the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010' http://tfl.nu/beuj

Replies (9) Good night (6672) Bad night (1105)
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(972): View more from Texas

Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?

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(972): Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday? http://tfl.nu/8ic0

Replies (3) Good night (2220) Bad night (915)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.

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(719): I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush. http://tfl.nu/eys0

Replies (11) Good night (2426) Bad night (861)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.

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(740): I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/pyht

Replies (10) Good night (4271) Bad night (1230)
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(517): View more from Michigan

i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?

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(517): i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother? http://tfl.nu/7lqg

Replies (8) Good night (2027) Bad night (1144)
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(510): View more from California

Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.

(1-510): View more from California

That is one convoluted booty call.

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(510): Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week. (1-510): That is one convoluted booty call. http://tfl.nu/bxw4

Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (1002)
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(206): View more from Washington

Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf

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(206): Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf http://tfl.nu/6f6i

Replies (4) Good night (1272) Bad night (543)
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(646): View more from New York

Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom

(347): View more from New York

I can't even drink.

(646): View more from New York

The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.

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(646): Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom (347): I can't even drink. (646): The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples. http://tfl.nu/1cwa

Replies (10) Good night (2073) Bad night (725)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.

(304): View more from West Virginia

Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.

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(803): I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had. (304): Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little. http://tfl.nu/dkf0

Replies (6) Good night (1304) Bad night (536)

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