Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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