Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.