Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think your dad took our porno
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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