Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
