He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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