You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
As shirtless as possible
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
