they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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