I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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