Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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