Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
