she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
