So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize