After last night, I could never be a politician.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
