Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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