the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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