Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
