My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
