Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
