If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
