Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
