Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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