Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
