I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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