i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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