I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
